I have a million little projects to do for work, and I'm sitting in a coffee shop trying to mentally prepare myself to do things that I don't want to do that will directly benefit people I do not respect. Yay. As I sit here, I casually check Facebook. "Casually check" should probably read "Instinctively check", as my brain is programmed to send a message to my hand instructing it to mouseclick on Facebook immediately when I open my computer. YOU WIN, ZUCKERBERG.
Anyway. As I scrolled down ingesting the usual litany of mundane, unfathomably boring status updates from my Facebook friends, I was presented with a status that illustrates the damage Facebook has done to us. Or rather, the damage we're doing to Facebook: The Too Much Fucking Information (TMFI) status.
The standard TMFI contains two key elements: information that is far too personal for anyone outside of one's inner circle of family and close friends, and a request for sympathy/encouragement/validation/attention. Mostly just attention. This particular TMFI was from a woman I will likely never see again, and if I do, it'll be under purely coincidental circumstances and I'll make every conceivable effort to ignore her. So basically, she's a standard Facebook friend. Her status is an explicit account of an ongoing medical emergency--the kind of "emergency" that allows ample time and energy to make frequent status updates, of course. After reading her status, I know the nature of her situation, the exact procedure she's about to undergo, the hospital she's being transferred from, the hospital she's being transferred TO, and the worst case scenario if her procedure is not successful.
The second half of the status, of course, contains the other key element: the outright request for attention. This is usually in the form of a "please send prayers" or something equally as irrational to anyone with a functioning brain stem.
I don't understand the need to share deeply personal issues on Facebook. Here's an idea, next time you post a status, ask yourself this question: Is this information protected by HIPAA? If the answer is "yes", don't fucking post it. Nobody cares. I don't need a play-by-play of your cervical cancer scare. Too much fucking information.
